SUBURBAN HILLS — A middle-aged woman in an olive-colored jumpsuit reportedly had a catastrophic meltdown in her own living room Tuesday afternoon after discovering her white wine was served at room temperature, sources confirm.

The khaki-clad cry-baby, believed to be in her 40s, was reportedly enjoying a leisurely afternoon when she took her first sip of what witnesses describe as "perfectly acceptable Chardonnay." Upon realizing the beverage was not properly chilled, the alleged adult immediately began shrieking at a volume typically reserved for fire alarms.

"She went from zero to full toddler in about three seconds," said Margaret Hendricks, a neighbor who heard the commotion through the walls. "The screaming was absolutely primal. I thought someone was being murdered, but no — just warm wine."

Eyewitnesses report the beige-decor-dwelling bawler's face turned crimson as tears streamed down her cheeks. The subject began wailing incomprehensibly while stomping her feet on her carefully selected patterned area rug, leaving visible impressions in the fabric. She then hurled the offending wine glass across the room, shattering it against her cream-colored wall and leaving a spectacular stain that interior designers estimate will require professional removal.

The tantrum escalated as the jumpsuit-wearing sob-sister grabbed decorative throw pillows from her white upholstered armchair and hurled them violently at the round mirror, causing it to crack. She proceeded to flip the wooden side table, sending it crashing onto the rug. Witnesses report she then dropped to her knees, pounding the floor with both fists while ugly-crying and producing what one observer described as "truly impressive amounts of snot."

"I've seen two-year-olds handle disappointment better," said Tom Chen, a delivery driver who arrived during the incident. "She was on the ground, flailing like a fish out of water, screaming something about 'wine standards' between sobs. I just left the package at the door."

Local interior decorator Susan Walsh noted the irony: "All that beige, and she still couldn't keep her cool."

The shoulder-length-haired meltdown maven was last seen crumpled on her area rug, still hiccupping from the crying fit. Her smartphone, which survived the rampage untouched on the chair, reportedly captured seventeen unread texts asking if she was okay.

Authorities are investigating whether charges of Being a Giant Baby will be filed.